As a Lost Sheep

I always imagine if I were a character in the Christmas Story, I would probably be one of the shepherds.  When the angels arrived to tell of Christ's birth, odds are I would have been outside taking care of animals.  I have a little ornament that I keep on my desk in my office that is a model horse, with the nativity painted on one side, and on the other is a depiction of a shepherd with his sheep, staring at the new star, with the city far away on the horizon.  This is precisely how I picture myself in the story, standing in my field with my animals, the city a light in the distance, and Christ's star the brightest thing in the sky.

I also love the story of the good shepherd and the lost sheep.

“What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

“And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.” Luke 15:4-5

In my church, we often (mostly) discuss this story in the context of going to rescue the one person who is having trouble.  If you're sitting in Sunday school and this story is discussed, it's discussed as important to visit the sick, to assist the individual with strong doubts, to make friends with your next door neighbor who may not be Mormon.  I think this is important, I can think of many scriptures where Christ tells his followers to be of assistance to those who need it.

However, if I were a character in this story, I'm the lamb that got lost.  In this field of life, I desperately want to feel safe, I want to feel at home.  As a horse trainer, at my ranch I create a safe place for each horse to find what he likes to do and what he is good at.  I provide safety, shelter, protection, food, water, and psychological security.  I take charge of things so they don't need to be afraid of predators on the horizon, imagined or real.  I want someone to do for me what I do for my horses, and in this need I find God.

In the words of the hymn, Come Thou Fount:  
Jesus, sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it.

Elder Uchtdorf is an apostle in my church, and he said this last weekend in general conference:

"My dear brothers and sisters, my dear friends, I testify that God sees us as we truly are—and He sees us worthy of rescue.  You may feel that your life is in ruins. You may have sinned. You may be afraid, angry, grieving, or tortured by doubt. But just as the Good Shepherd finds His lost sheep, if you will only lift up your heart to the Savior of the world, He will find you.

He will rescue you.

He will lift you up and place you on His shoulders.

He will carry you home."

I'll continue to act as a good steward and shepherd my horses through their journey in life, and I'll continue to find that same security and feeling of home in my faith because of this otherworldly protection I receive from God.

Wrong Leads, Counter Canters, and Jewelry

If you were to skip around in a circle without alternating your leading leg, one of your legs would generally stay in front of the other.  If you were a cantering horse, the leading leg would be called the "left lead" or the "right lead" depending on whether it was the left or right leg in front.  The correct lead is the one where the leg on the inside of the circle is in front.  The wrong lead is where the leg on the outside of the circle is in front.  When you are first learning this it can be a little tricky to feel the difference between the right and wrong lead from on top of the horse.  It takes practice to be able to see it from the ground, too.  Once you have the hang of it, it is instantly obvious which lead a horse is on.  In this first photo you can see that Highboy's right front leg is in the lead, and so he is on his right lead.  

This is also the correct lead for him going this direction, since the fence is on the outside of the circle, he is leading with his inside leg.  This would of course change if he were cantering on a straightaway in a big field with no turns.  Then it would be important for him to canter on the left lead, and then change to the right lead, so that he doesn't become sore or asymmetrical from only working one side of his body.

This is the convention for cantering on a horse, unless you are doing something called a "counter canter."  In this maneuver you WANT the outside leg to be in the lead, it's a balancing exercise for the horse (and the rider for that matter!)  To further the trickiness of this concept, a person with a practiced eye watching from the ground can tell whether the horse and rider are cantering on the left or right lead, whether it is the correct or wrong lead, as well as whether the rider is cantering on the wrong lead on purpose and is using it as a counter canter. 

This is a more advanced concept to learn, so a new rider makes lots of mistakes when figuring out the canter and how to identify leads.  I often tell my new riders that one man's wrong lead is another man's counter canter.  There's no need to sweat it if you get it wrong while you're learning, that's why we practice.  

I often think about this idea in religion.  There are so many different world religions, but just within Christianity there are innumerable ways to interpret the Bible.  What we think about as "right" and "wrong" varies, even within this book that purportedly represents an unchanging God's views.  For example, regarding whether women should wear jewelry 1 Timothy 2:9 you can find this:

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

Then you can also find this on the very same subject in Ezekiel 16:11-13

I [God] adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen.
  
Which scripture is correct?  What if it's a matter of one man's wrong lead is another man's counter canter?  What is wrong in one circumstance is correct in a different circumstance?  Take a look at this little cartoon.

These two folks are definitely looking at the same set of logs lying on the ground between them.  Because of their points of view they each see a different number of logs.  Is one of them wrong?  How could they both be correct about something so concrete and obvious?  Perspective.  

I like to think that God sees things not only from His own perspective, but also from each of ours.  I like the idea that He can identify with each and every one of us mortals, and see things how each one of us sees them.  It's interesting to me to look at things from different viewpoints, I enjoy trying to figure out why people think the way they do and why they can see the same things so vastly differently.  I like the idea that as I get better at adapting my views to be able to see things the way someone else sees them, I gain empathy and understanding for others.  I think empathy and understanding are godly traits, and important for me as a Christian.  

I don't have to agree with everything (or anything) another person sees, but I want to know WHY they see it that way.  I love the idea that God can see things from an infinite number of perspectives, and He appreciates the history and background in each individual that makes them view things the way they do. 

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.   Corinthians 13:12 King James Version (KJV)


He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see.   John 9:25 KJV


We are in this giant field called life, and it's important to be able to canter on the left lead and then the right lead to keep ourselves limber, balanced, and fit.  Whether we identify a lead as correct or wrong isn't the important part, the critical thing to me is that I can see it from all perspectives. 

Who is God to Me?

Who is God to me?  This seems like as good a question as any to begin my thoughts on religion.  My perceptions of God have changed over time, as I imagine most people's do.  I suspect God has been the same the whole time, but the way I understand this higher power has evolved as I've grown up, matured, and observed the effects of God in my life.  For simplicity's sake I will refer to God as "He", though I definitely feel God has a feminine component as well.  To me the word "God" means heavenly parents, father and mother, my literal spiritual predecessors.  Because of this lineage, I think there is something heavenly in me, and because I think everything and everyone that I encounter every day was created by God, there is something heavenly in you, too.

When I was a kid I loved a movie called Pete's Dragon.  In this movie the main character, Pete, is an orphan trying to escape from his wicked foster family, the Gogans.  Pete has a friend, an invisible gigantic green dragon that only he can see, named Elliot.  When Pete is having a hard time, Elliot is there to support him.  When Pete is enjoying life, Elliot is there singing with him.  When things get really desperate, Elliot saves Pete.  Finally, at the end of the movie when Pete is safe and has a loving family of his own, Elliot explains that he must move on to help another child, but that he does love Pete.

I find parallels to the Pete's Dragon story in my own young life.  While Elliot is a monstrously sized creature that could hurt Pete, he chooses to protect Pete instead.  As a child I felt similarly about the horses who raised me.  They were so large compared to me, and I knew they could hurt or kill me in an instant.  But I found great satisfaction in creating a friendship with these huge animals and by so doing I found in them my Elliot.

When I began to consider the idea of a god in high school the easiest association for me was to Elliot, and to my horses.  I certainly had relationships with large horses, who could do great damage in short order, but who chose to let me ride them and who thankfully kept me safe.  This connection revealed to me what God was to me at that time.  A protector, a support, a powerful force for safety and love in my life.  Because I felt so much at home in a barn with a horse, God came to mean home to me as well.

In my contact with equines, I generally have found them to be incredibly forgiving creatures.  Of course they each have their own personalities, but on the whole I'm always impressed with how much human nonsense they will tolerate.  We humans, a predatory species, will climb onto a horse, a prey species.  We grab him at the base of the neck where a predator would attack, but before we do that we strap the hide of another dead animal to his back and call it a saddle.  Going entirely against his instincts, a horse will allow us to do all of this to him.  We humans, and especially I, make so many mistakes when trying to communicate with these creatures, but they generally forgive me and acknowledge that I'm making an earnest attempt to do the right thing.  I associate this temperament with God.  I mess things up so regularly, but God in His forgiving mercy and grace, still likes me and wants to help me.

Generally I believe God to be a kind, merciful, powerful, loving, forgiving entity that is actually involved in my day to day life.  Kind of like a horse. 

Jeremiah 29:11  New International Version (NIV) 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."